I'm writing this post because its a very sensitive subject for woman.
Especially woman who have little ones and desire to be involved, completely submerged in ministry, in serving, in been all sold out for the Lord, in any or all events at their Church....
But trying to participate, making a contribution when you have little ones at your side can be difficult and sometimes heartbreaking.
Why Difficult?
Why Heartbreaking?
Because Sometimes we Mothers are asked to leave our "children behind" or that "children are not allowed" "its an adult volunteer only event" or something along those lines.
And its heartbreaking because you DESIRE to contribute your talent, your time.....
You want to know that you can be used by God in any giving "ministry" "event" etc at Any given time,
But when we hear words that ask us to make a choice between what woman were naturally designed to be and what we desire to do... the result can be heart wrenching, bitterness, and/or offense.
Now I'm not stating that because woman were designed to be mothers we cannot "do."
No, What I'm speaking on, is the emotional predicament of having to Choose between the two.
Since when do we have to choose between been a mother and serving in an event that God had stirred a desire in us, to do so??
When did serving and motherhood separate?
When did it become two whole entities?
I have enjoyed been a stay at home, homeschooling mom (that is of course, after I wrestled with God and grudgingly submitted to my husbands wishes :) just keeping it real yall)
I Have enjoyed watching my children grow form infants, to toddlers to child...
I Have enjoyed been able to witness their "First" smile, their First Laugh, their First time sitting, first time standing, first time eating, First time walking, First tooth, First word, First complete sentence, First Everything, Milestones, All Beautiful Moments Every Mother should be able to witness and enjoy....
But there have been things i have not enjoyed about Motherhood
I do NOT and have Not enjoyed been asked if "I could make arrangements for my children" so that i could serve..
I have NOT enjoyed been asked if I could watch my kids while helping out..
I have NOT enjoyed been asked if my kids could sit down and be silent.
I have NOT enjoyed been asked if my kids could refrain from playing around
I have NOT enjoyed been asked if I 'had" to bring my children with me.
I have NOT enjoyed been asked this and many more request while I have whole heartily giving up my time and desire to help and serve.
The NERVE!!! (right?... lol)
For the sake of Honesty I'm been completely transparent with no pretense or cover ups..
You see, My husband is somewhat of an evangelist, Well that's not truly accurate..
hes pretty much a full blown evangelist at heart.
His Heart pretty much belongs to the Lost, to the Cause, To the Great Commission.
Which in turns leaves the rearing, the raising, and caring of our children, sometimes solely on me, for days at a time...
My children, are somewhat of my shadow. If I am here, there, anywhere, you can bet that they are 99% of the time, right there by my side.
At first I resented my husband, then the church (people in particular most of the time.. and yes IM BEEN TRANSPARENT for the sake of Gods Glory!) then Finally all those inglorious feelings fell my children...
Can you believe that???
I began to have resentment towards them!
To my little innocent kids who had no fault in any of this!
I started to dislike having to say no because of them.
Because of them I was Missing OUT on doing Gods work.
Because of them I couldn't contribute my Real Talents
Because of them I couldn't do what I Desired to do
Because of them I was now home bound.
BUT GOD.
God Is Good.
I cried out to him in Anger.
In Hurt.
In Heartbreak.
Why had he Chosen for me to be home bound taking care of children?
There was SO much Harvest and Such Few Workers....
I wanted to be in trenches. I wanted to do His work from sun up to sun down.
I wanted to be part of everything.
Above all I wanted to show God Through Works... How Grateful I was for My Salvation.
Did you catch that?
See let me back track a few...
I grew up in an environment were gratefulness was a form of action ONLY.
I couldn't simply feel Grateful and say so.... I had to show it.... Continually...
Though the sentiment for it, was, along somewhat in the right tracks, it was overly exaggerated.
See Gratefulness is Not The Pressure of Having To do. Its the Willingness.
Sometimes Gratefulness Is Best demonstrated in action in circumstances not most comfortable for us.
How?
Simple
If I am truly Grateful I am willing to say YES, in any way there is a Need.
IN my life at this moment The Need is, you guessed it, My children.
Children all over the world are been raised WITHOUT Fatherly Love, Protection, or Guidance.
By default, Nature has a vacuum effect, in which if Plan A fails Plan B is executed.
Hence the Rise of Femininity. A Matriarchal Nation. A Matriarchal Church etc..
The Rise of Mothers, raising Fatherless children.
and that has already proven to be to big of burden for many woman to carry
See Woman were not meant to do this alone.
Men Are the head of their Home
They were Beautifully designed to carry the weight upon their broad shoulders.
They Were Beautifully designed to manage the burden and carry the task out.
Not that woman cannot do so.. Its that woman should not have to and yet do so.
It weighs heavier on a woman's shoulder to Raise Men and Woman.
SO what this has created is far greater damage rather than good fruit.
And yes There HAS and IS Good fruit out there... Yet very few of them.
I share that because of the simple fact that since men were designed to carry the burden and have rejected and abandoned their post, Woman have stepped up and have been having a difficult time doing so and so now we are not only a Fatherless Nation we are also very rapidly becoming Motherless
Woman are getting tired of doing it alone. Of Battling continually for their Family.
and so Their Pursuit, gets damaged along the way, some fall out and others simply just give up and sit aside giving the Devil full reigns on their children.
When I saw this epidemic my Heart Broke.
I cried until i had no more tears.
How Ungrateful had I been.
God Had rescued me from the chaos of this, and I in turn was angry at him. I had been Angry at my husband. Angry at people..Angry at my children.
Because I had failed to see why, Why he had rescued me from it.
You see....
Yes He saved me because He loved me but I Now Have a Mission.
I was given the privilege to Raise my children day In and day out.
I was given the privilege to stay home with them... to nurture them... to love on them.
He Saved me for them, for their Calling... for the lives they'll impact one day.
He was knitting in me the understanding of what society is becoming.
Not Just what it is Now A Fatherless world, BUT also whats to come..
Not ONLY have Fathers abandoned post.. BUT their are many many young ladies who are not been mothered or trained on how to keep fighting the good fight.
To not sub come to acting on and ride out on the emotions of a broken heart.
And we do have Fighting Woman, they are out working.. struggling to provide financially for her and her children, from sun up to sun down..... moms forced to take the financial responsibility...
not because she wants to, but because the circumstances in Life have forced her hand with the cards dealt to her...
Motherhood... it had became offensive to me.
What a Glorious struggle. What a Beautiful Art of War against the enemy.
Mothers are the last stand, the remnant, for the Battle of the home....
Nothing Worth Having comes Without a Battle.
So Fight on Mothers. DO Not Give up.
Do not Loose Heart.
Motherhood. The Most under appreciated Ministry.
Galatians 6:9 (NIV)
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Psalm 126:5 (NIV)
Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy
2 Corinthians 4:1
Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.
